There’s 2 ways to survive: overcome an awful personal situation, or be the remaining person in a struggle.
When we lose a loved one, we are a survivor. But we aren’t ready to survive without our loved one. We lose so much more than a physical person. We lose the future.
In 1995, we lost my father-in-law to cancer. If we look at just my immediate family (5 of us), here’s just a sample of what we lost:
- A father to give advice.
- A grandpa to watch his grandsons grow up.
- A father to say, “you’re a great dad”.
- A grandpa to play horse.
- A grandpa to teach about coins and money.
- A grandpa to watch them play soccer.
- A grandpa to hug at graduation.
- A grandpa to flirt with the future wife.
- A grandpa to take them fishing.
- A great grandpa to give a cigar when the great granddaughter is born.
- A father/grandfather to share family history.
While we lost these moments, we have kept TJ in our thoughts. We refuse to lose our memories.
This weekend we are at a graduation for my husband’s family, my father-in-law’s side. I am watching my husband. Family is so important to him and I know he learned it from his dad. I know TJ would be so proud of him. I just wish my husband could hear him say it.