Last week I started My Story Monday with the beginning of a poem.  I have edited the poem several times, including the portion I posted last week. On Sunday, during my daily trip to the gym, I realized that the story was bunk.

What?!?! Bunk? As in a bed? No. As in JUNK — no good — bogus.

So let’s start again.

My name is Krystal. Since I was little, I have had what most call intuition. If you watch NCIS, it’s like Gibbs and his gut. I have always just known things. It’s difficult to explain this knowledge when you are little. It’s not much easier as a grown up, but at least empathy is something we openly discuss.

I also talk to spirit or ghosts or angels. It is really difficult to explain spirit talking to you in your dreams when you are 4 years old. It sounds like you had a nightmare. I remember a lot of nightmares. I was never afraid of the dark, but I was not fond of shadows. My grandmother carries around a picture I drew when I was little. It was of a little girl with a shadow behind her that resembled Frankenstein. It was a friendly shadow – it even held a flower. But it was still a shadow, and it obviously scared me a little.

I have always felt like I didn’t quite fit. I made choices along the way that were supposed to help me fit in, but they never completely worked.

1. I didn’t go to the special gifted class so that I could stay at my regular school with my regular friends. The Universe changed my school anyway.
2. I became BFF’s with the most popular girl in school. We were often excluded from plans because if we weren’t invited, they knew we would have each other.
3. I left the band so I could take a different elective, and stop being a band geek. I was still in all the smart classes, and now I was in the rotation that didn’t have my usual friends.

I was, and still am, an overachiever that wants to hide out. I have always been the first one finished but never wanted to be the first to turn it in. Kids aren’t exactly nice to the smart kids, and I changed schools every year. I just wanted to be normal. I just wanted to blend in. I just wanted friends.

Come back next week and we’ll look at everything I tried to shut this calling off.